When we taste a meal from a food buffet and don't like it, we don't feel guilty about it, or say to ourselves: "I will never eat again" or, "I am unworthy", we simply move on to the next meal and never eat the one we disliked again.
Our approach to specific life circumstances, jobs or relationships, should be the same.
The contrast was created to help us know what we don't like, and therefore, what we do like, nothing more.
It is the dwelling in "it" that makes us miserable, and we often do so because we haven't been trained to feel and acknowledge emotions and act upon them, as we have been with physical pain.
In other words, it is not the contrast that makes us suffer, but the staying in it.
The prolonged stay manufactures trauma, that then requires therapies, sometimes long ones.
This is why staying in the hope that a person changes, a job gets better, or a neighborhood becomes more friendly, is, not only counterproductive and oftentimes not based on reasonable data, but also kills our sense of self worth and inner creative energy.
As the buffet of food, Life offers a magnificent buffet of greedy and generous people, warm hearted and cold persons, careers that make us feel accomplished and useful, and others that don't.
It is an illusion to think there is no choice or that we can't simply leave, and the guardian that keeps the gate to that illusion is Fear.
Under the effect of Fear, we start to believe we deserve what happens to us and confine in labels given to us by others to make sense of things, e.g: I have a border line personality disorder or I have PTSD and I ruin everything I touch.
Truth is, we are all the product of childhood or past trauma, and would have to go way back, almost to the original sin, to grasp the magnitude and depth of what really happened in order to give, if possible at all, an acceptable explanation to our own behavior and the one of others.
Our parents had parents that had parents... So did our friends, neighbors and co-workers.
This investigation is unnecessary, for all of us, when exposed to enough quantity of love and affection, share these emotions back naturally.
This is why it is crucial to move on from a bad situation, before thinking we are the problem and that it is our fault, without asking or trying to understand why, how, when and who, as we wouldn't ask about food, as stated in the first example.
Forgive yourself for staying in bad situations and forgive others for any wrong they might have caused you, for you have also wronged others. Forgive anything that has happened and anything that will happen in the future and... leave.
This is often the extent of what we can really do.
When something or someone is making you ache, if you can, move on to the next meal that is waiting for you, for this is your Life, and it is made of movement, expansion, and growth.
Wishing you ease, clarity and motivation.